Reflections on Our Unfolding Heritage
by Brother André Mathieu, C.P.
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Brothers Kenneth Francis Pughe, C.P. and Conrad Federspiel, C.P. at Holy Family Retreat House, W. Hartford, CT, circa 1950s. Photo by Meyers Studio Inc., Hartford, CT. |
The rattle rouses me from a deep sleep. I quickly get up and put on my habit; head for the washroom to splash some cold water on my face and then head for the choir. My movements are slow-fast. I only have a few minutes to walk down the long, dimly-lit corridor. I don't want to be late for Matins. I take my place in dean order. There is a dean order set-up for the priests; one for the professed brothers; one for the cleric novices and one for the brother novices. While the priests and cleric novices stand and chant the Office in Latin; I sit quietly and pray the Little Office in English (recently introduced for the brothers) and when finished join the other novice brothers in making the Stations of the Cross on my knees going from station to station in the center of the choir floor. When I finish I return to my place and spend the remaining amount of time in quiet prayer or praying the Five Wound Beads. When the chant is finished, all of us kneel in silence with the lights off to finish the hour. I then join the silent procession back to my cell where I take the discipline if it is one of the prescribed nights. On my way back to my cell, I pause a few moments each night and look out a window that gives me a panoramic view of Pittsburgh, 3 AM. I remind myself that I have been called to Passionist life to pray for and work for the salvation of souls. The inconvenience of broken sleep and the bell that will sound in a few hours to wake me up again for a long day of prayer and work is an expression of my commitment. I know that I am where God has called me, and I know that life will consist of the same routine for however long I live.
The time frame is 1960-62. The place is St. Paul's Monastery in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I am a brother novice as distinct from a cleric novice. There is a common novitiate with two formation tracts: one for clerics and one for brothers. I know that I will lead the rest of my life in community: clerics and brothers together with two tracts. I accept it without really understanding what it will comprise. I am grateful to God for calling me to share in the charism of St. Paul of the Cross although I barely know anything about it. I am a novice along with 28 other cleric and brother novices. I make my first Profession of vows on March 4, 1962, in the Monastery Church. There are five of us brothers making profession. Clerics have their own date of profession. Father Martin Joseph Tooker, C.P. is the Rector, and he decides that we will make profession of vows in the context of the monthly Confraternity of the Passion meeting. Provincials do not preside at profession ceremonies. Profession of brothers receive some emphasis; cleric professions are barely noted. Province focus is on the yearly ordinations in Union City, New Jersey. I am allowed to invite my immediate family. They drive from Hartford, Connecticut. There is a collection during Confraternity meetings. Someone forgets to tell the ushers not to take up the collection from our families. There is an hour reception afterwards in the lounge of the new retreat house. I say goodbye to my family and re-enter the cloister. There is a stay-up in our honor that night, but I go to bed early. I have to be up by 5:30 AM the next morning to work in the laundry room. Novice brothers do the retreat house laundry. Two days later, the five of us are packed into two cars along with drivers for the long drive to West Hartford, Connecticut and our introduction into the Junior Brother Training Program. I am excited! I am now professed! What I do not know is that I am entering upon a journey that will bring me upon paths never dreamed of by me or anyone else that day. A jolly rotund man named Angelo Roncalli—John XXIII—is about to open up the windows of the Church and let in some fresh air!
At our recent 2004 Passionist Assembly, I found myself in conversation about the history of pastoral planning in our province. I said that pastoral planning began with our General Chapter of 1968 and our Extraordinary Provincial Chapter of 1969. We have been on a bumpy journey since then. We do not always refer to pastoral planning in what we do but the reality is that we have been in process of restructuring our province since 1969. We have closed monasteries and residences; returned parishes to dioceses; opened up experimental communities; closed down a formation system and for thirty-six years have been reenvisioning recruitment and formation as necessity dictates. We have undertaken new overseas missions as well as new ventures in this country and we have committed ourselves to extensive collaboration with laity and other religious. Some of our planning has been visionary; some of it has been out of sheer necessity and some of it has occurred by default but whether we are excited about it or not, we are in it for the long haul.
As I look back over the years since the Chapter of 1969, I see three realities of province life: rejection, renewal and refounding.
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